Rest in Peace Chloe

We got some terrible news Sunday night. When Matt got home from the lake, our family vet called him to say that our dog, Chloe, has passed away.  It was a total shock!  She has been boarded over the holiday (which we do very often when we are out of town and Matt assures me she always loved going) and when the staff came in Sunday, she was appeared to be sleeping but never woke up.

Chloe was only 4 years old and has never had any health problems. In fact, she had just had her yearly check-up.  We have absolutely no idea what the cause of death is. The vet suspected that possibly the fireworks from over the holiday may have given her heart failure, as he sees that every year, but Chloe has never been frightened of storms or loud noises before.  We just don’t know.

Matt and I made the decision to get a dog after we had been married a few years. Our friends had just started having babies and maybe we thought we would just test the waters and see how responsible we could be.  I had always grown up with outdoor dogs. Matt had indoor dogs.  I wanted something super cute and cuddly. Matt wanted a bull dog.  How would we ever decide?

We went to the beach one rainy weekend and ended up at a bookstore. We bought a big book all about dogs—pictures of every breed at each stage, the cons and the pros, the dispositions, etc.  I went through the book and wrote down my top five picks.  Matt did the same.  Samoyed was the only breed we both had a match on but not one we were very familiar with or had really ever seen. *Note: if you have seen the recent movie The Proposal, the cute white puppy is a Samoyed.

I did some research and found a breeder within the state.  She didn’t have any puppies on the way but she had kept one from a recent litter to train as a show dog.  We could buy her, but only with the rights to allow the breeder to take her to shows. It was like an adoption. After filling out an application and talking extensively with the breeder, we were accepted and I couldn’t wait to see my new puppy.

This was in June, it was right around my birthday and I was getting my tonsils out. After having the surgery, I decided a new puppy was just the thing to keep me company at home.  Matt & I drove to Birmingham to meet our new child.  She was so sweet and I was immediately in love!

That summer, she went to the beach with us and got tons of attention. She was a little white fur ball and everyone stopped and wanted to know what kind of dog she was.  She was absolutely a socialite!  So good with kids, so patient with adults.  And she continued to always be as she grew up.

She really became the best dog we ever could have chosen.

As you can imagine, our family is very sad.  Matt was primary Chloe’s care taker—always made sure she had food and fresh water, first one to let her out in the morning, etc. Chloe is really the closest thing he has ever lost.  He told me just the other night out of the blue, “UGH…I miss our dog!” So I know his heart is broken which adds to my sadness.

Matt told Campbell Sunday night after the phone call came. I was still at the lake since I had a doc appt the next morning so he had to tell me over the phone. I was shocked when he told me but didn’t really cry until he told me about his conversation with Campbell. 

Matt explained that Chloe had gone to sleep and would never wake up. She coulcn’t come back home because she was in heaven and living with Jesus and would be his pet now. Campbell repeated a lot of what Matt told her and said “but I miss her. I want Chloe to come home.”  That just breaks my heart.  But I think Matt did a great job. 

Admittedly I had my times, particularly after I had Campbell and with this pregnancy, that Chloe was just in my way.  Her hair was everywhere (lots of white hair!!), her breath often would stink (not good for morning sickness) and I would just lose my patience with her.  But there are those little things….  she always drank my milk after I ate my cereal.  I would let her sneak on the bed with me while Matt was in the shower.  I liked to get her special treats and toys and always filled her Christmas stocking with lots of doggie goodies. And while I feel so guilty and awful that I didn’t love on her more, I know she knew she was loved.

Not too long ago, Matt & I made the decision to transition Chloe to staying outside during the day.  Matt actually made her a little area in the yard with a dog house and nice rod iron fence in a shady corner.  With a new baby on the way, we knew our house was only going to get smaller and Chloe needed to learn to spend time enjoying outside.  She was adapting pretty well but of course would still spend the mornings and evenings inside with us.

Campbell has always known life with Chloe.  Chloe was actually very good with Campbell, even from the moment we brought her home from the hospital, and always protective of her.  We have a scratches on our hardwood floors at the bottom of the stairs, right in front of Campbell’s room where Chloe would often sleep or just lie guarding Campbell’s door.  Whenever I was home alone, Chloe made the bumps at night seem not so scary.  She always wanted to be in the room with us, not necessarily in our lap or even in the middle of what we were doing.  Maybe just our feet. Or just present with us.  Along with the strands of white dog hair, her spirit of quiet protectiveness and calming presence still lingers in our home. And while it makes us miss her, I don’t know that I am ready for that feeling to leave.

We will forever be glad that Chloe was apart of our family, if only for a short time.  I know that God has a plan for everything. I know that Chloe’s brief life had purpose. And somehow our loss has purpose. And I know that all dogs go to heaven. 

Although Campbell continues to ask about Chloe, she has not gotten really upset. Maybe she just doesn’t  really understand. Or maybe she understands more than we all do, that lying at Jesus’ feet is a much better life than anything here on earth.